Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
