What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
