i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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