very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
