I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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