hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
