what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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