the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
