Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize