Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i think my mom watched the whole time
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
