This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
