tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
