You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
sarcasm needs its own font
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
They are going to name an STD after you.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
