The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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