That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
