just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
