just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
