Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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