Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
