What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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