I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
