I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
