It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
