id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
