Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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