he wants to bone in the snuggie
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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