Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize