Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
