On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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