Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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