it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
