Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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