he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
