Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
