Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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