He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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