You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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