i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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