I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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