He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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