Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
