I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
