I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
