I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
