there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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