Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize