We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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