What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
