dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize