insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
