They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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