i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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