Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
