he puts the penis in happiness.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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