I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
