dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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