Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have post one night stand depression
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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