He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
