I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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