went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
