Me too!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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